The Hidden Hurt - Dealing with Bullying

By Jane Caughey.

The facts

Research across Australia, the UK, and the USA has thrown up a remarkably consistent picture of bullying. The figures are alarming. There is an overall pattern of around between 10 to 15% - of all children - who are bullied at least once a week. Dr Ken Rigby, Australia’s most prominent specialist in this area, says one in six children are bullied daily.

Bullying behaviour is different for boys and girls. More boys are bullied than girls, and it tends to be physical - pushing, shoving, slapping, dropping books. Male bullies work alone or with a couple of allies. Girls are also very capable bullies, whose methods tend more to verbal and emotional means (teasing, name calling, exclusion) and they tend to work in groups.

Why do bullies do it?

There is a common misconception that bullies are from disadvantaged backgrounds, or have low self-esteem. Some do, but many don’t. Far from being the ‘losers’ of popular assumption, many bullies are very smart and good at school. Their reasons for wanting to hurt others are incredibly complex.

What both sexes have in common is that bullies tend to more aggressive, more impulsive, and have a strong need to dominate. They typically have little empathy. This can undoubtedly be traced to family background, where they may have been treated punitively, or built up resentment (for whatever reason), or witnessed verbal or physical aggression - the causes are difficult to disentangle.

Equally, the school may be partly (if unintentionally) to blame. While most Australian schools are ‘caring’ places, some may have a tendency towards authoritarian behaviour, and have a culture of ‘toughness’. Needless to say, the wider culture may be implicated too - violent films and video games, excessive focus on conformity (in dress, in behaviour) and contempt for those who are ‘different’, a glorification of ‘bogan’ behaviour.

What are the effects?

They can be quite serious. At the lower end of the spectrum, children are unhappy, and feel bad about themselves, for no good reason. There may be physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches, crying, anxiety, sleeplessness. Children may try to avoid the situation, by hiding away at school, or by feigning sickness in order to be allowed to stay home. They may be unable to concentrate, with consequent detrimental effects on their school work. They may never live up to their potential, because ‘escape’ from the pain becomes the top priority.

At the extreme end of the scale, much worse is possible. Children who are bullied can develop depression, psychosomatic illnesses and even, if pushed far enough, entertain thoughts of suicide.

Oddly enough, the bullies suffer too. In one long term research study, of boys identified as bullies in school, 60% went on to have criminal convictions! In short, if it remains unchecked, the bullies themselves have bad prospects.

What can be done about bullying?

The research affirms that a number of techniques are available to schools to reduce bullying. It is important that the school take a ‘whole school’ approach to the problem. Without a conscious, orchestrated campaign against bullying by everyone on staff, it will continue to flourish. The main strategies recommended by experts are:

• The method of shared concern - based on Swedish research - where the ‘ringleader’ is brought in for a chat about someone who is unhappy, and invited to deal with the problem in a ‘concerned’ way. This method avoids stigmatising the bully.
• The support group approach - developed in the UK - in which a group is formed to act as support for the victim. It should include the bully/bullies, who thereby have to work to solve the problem.
• Mediation - where the bully and the victim are both able to share their feelings and issues, before the mediator brokers a solution.

The research confirms that the role of bystanders is critical. If children stand by and watch bullying, it will only get worse. If however they have been trained to intervene, or go and tell a teacher, it can be lessened.

Once again, the overall climate of the school, and the articulation of a strong anti-bullying policy, is essential to long term alleviation of this destructive problem.

What's next?

Ziptales has a specific anti-bullying resource, called Happy Schools. It was developed out of detailed research into the problem, and then constructed out of child-friendly elements (such as muppets), to help alleviate the problem.

It can be accessed at http://www.ziptales.com/happyschools/swf/teachers.swf (password = staff23). The Happy Schools resource uses videos, lots of illustrative art, as well as a teacher and child psychologist, to teach children how to deal with the problem.